Breaking The Silence, Wake up

Twice Betrayed

In 2003 my mother and two brothers(Moe and Jarrett) and I had decided to make the move to Arizona to live with my grandfather. Before leaving the state we sold all of our things and momentarily stayed with a uncle. In the weeks prior to us leaving I didn’t see my first predator anymore but I was confronted with my second. Of the 3 predators I have ever encountered this 1 I never brought up, so here we go…..

The 4 of us lived in the home with 5 other people ( My Great uncle, His wife and their 3 children. This home was the designated home for family gatherings, party’s really everything took place at this home. I can say most of my memories were here. Of all of the good memories there is only one bad and that one sticks with me the most. We expect people to be different, we expect to always be safe but sometimes no matter the circumstances we aren’t.

Unsure of the reason but one night my older brother 2 cousins and I had to share a bed for the night. That night everything started off normal, we all played games as we normally would. We ate dinner and cleaned the kitchen. Then all took our showers and went to bed.

As I have stated before I don’t ever completely sleep throughout the night. This particular night wasn’t any different either. I had been sleeping and awoke to something oh so familiar. It was the familiar unwanted touch but it was by someone new. Another person I trusted my male cousin Randall. After he finished penetrating me and giving me oral he went to the restroom, then returned back to bed and went to sleep. I rolled over in bed and cried myself to sleep yet again. All I could think was it was happening again. This time in a home full of people, in a bed full of people yet again no one knew.

After falling asleep I’m unsure if he did it again or not but when we all awoke my pants and underwear were down. After all of us children awoke we sat around everyone asking why my clothing was that way. My eldest brother especially, I recall him asking why and who did it. My cousin sat around but never said a word. Things were different that day. I saw everyone different that day. I was ready to move away.

Looking back his actions don’t surprise me he had signs. Whenever us children were left alone he often snuck porn tapes out of his parents room to watch. He tried to get us to watch but wasn’t something we were in to. And most prominent was the day he chased us around the home naked. He had on a condom and chased us kids around the house. Looking back I know something could have been done. He showed signs but as children we didn’t know.

I was 7 at the time, he was 5 or 6 years older than me. Another member who became family by marriage. Another male who turned out to be a predator. Looking back I resent not speaking up that day. I knew who had to be the cause of the clothing that wasn’t on me as it should have been. This was my encounter with my 2nd family predator as if 1 wasn’t enough. From that day forward we never discussed what went on. He never tried to do it again, but that 1 time changed my perception of him. I often think back and wonder who else fell victim to him? Also was I his only victim? Those among numerous other questions crowd my mind at times. Yet, I guess I may never know……

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