“Those who judge will never understand and those who understand will never judge” We live in a world where you are judged for being yourself and praised for trying to be like everyone else. We live in a world where people feel they know you based off of what the next person told them about you. Whether you know it to be true or false won’t matter. As stated in the bible “the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” Everyone starts rumors without thinking and speaks without knowing. Before you know it who you really are will no longer be how you are perceived to the world, they’ll see you as the person that everyone else portrayed you out to be.
I’m sure everyone has had moments in their life where they were misjudged by someone who really knew nothing about them. Well, I have been misjudged my entire life, and a few of those moments stick with me the most. When people don’t know everything about you, they make up stories to fill in the blanks. I guess that part is my fault though? I keep to myself to avoid drama and becoming attached to the wrong people. I’ve changed how I went about dealing with people and opened up, just becoming an open book as well. But, both of these things were still met with rumors, and judgment. I’ve come to the conclusion that you can’t win. No matter how far you’ve come and what you accomplish or who you are there will always be someone who won’t like you for you. Because of that stories are made up, rumors are spread and before you know it you aren’t who you’re supposed to be.
Growing up I have been victim to being misjudged by those who never even took the time out to get to know me. I have always been a quiet person and kept my life and personal business to myself but that isn’t normal in society. People believe they have the right to know everything about you and when they don’t, they create stories to fill in the unknown.
Living in Arizona most of my life put me in a total culture shock when I moved back to Tennessee. I had been to 2 high schools prior to going to this one. When I arrived I for the most part kept to myself I spoke to people but overall I kept to myself because that’s always been me. Being used to moving around a lot you try not to get attached to people, so I didn’t. Everyone knew I was the new girl and not from around here but no one knew me, and honestly they still don’t. But, because they didn’t know me people decided they wouldn’t like me. To this day it’s people I have never spoken to a day in my life that just do not like me because of something someone else told them.
Each day I kept to myself unless given a reason to do other wise. Rumors had been spread. I had a guy come up to me one day and ask about my three kids that someone stated I had. My senior year in high school I had a boyfriend and still for the most part kept to myself and out-of-the-way. Even with me trying to distance myself from being judged no matter what it still seemed to follow and people sill talked. I Had someone start a rumor that I didn’t like a girl that I actually considered as a friend. They also stated that I was basically saying bad things about this girl, someone who I had never had an issue with and because word of mouth and opinions matter more to people than facts she believed them and had begun to dislike me because of it. The only reason I knew any of this was even happening is because someone came up to me and asked me why I was saying all these things and by the time I had tried correcting it, the damage had been done. I’d say the most irritating part about things was that I still don’t even know who started those rumors and no one ever bothered to even see if I was true. Popular opinion, it wins every time!
Another time I was misjudged by rumors is one that will probably stick with me for a while because of all the things people can make up this was one they should have kept. A rumor that I had been sleeping around with someone I considered as family had been started after I had broken up with a boyfriend for cheating on me. The rumor came from someone in his family and a new friend of his. I’d say of all the things that have been said about me in my life that is the most hurtful. It’s hurtful because as a survivor of abuse I have to be connected with people on an emotional level to even become intimate and older men is something I always steer away from because they remind me of my past. Of course they didn’t know that but that doesn’t excuse the rumor. Another reason that hurt me was because I have been around these people for 5 years and have never even looked at anyone the way I did my boyfriend at the time, especially not family. I’m the type of person that if we are dating any and everyone who comes on to me I will tell you about as well. This was another rumor that no only affected me, my life and relationships with people but also affected the lives of other people around me.
I have learned a lot in my 22 years of life, lessons that most people may never learn. I have learned that no matter how much people claim to like you they will still judge you. I have learned that rumors are usually started by bitter people who are unhappy with their own lives, and want you to feel the same. When it comes to rumors I know the truth, if people care about you like they say then they’ll always come to you for clarity. I have learned that rumors tell you a lot about people and who you can and can’t trust. Rumors are just words, they can’t hurt you they can only make you stronger because other people’s opinion doesn’t determine who you are as a person, as long as you remain true to yourself.
We live in a world where everyone feels its their right to know everything about your life. Family, Friends, Peers, neighbors and society ; Everyone wanting to see who you are and what you are about. No one wants the next person to be better than them so they dilute the image you’ve made for yourself. That isn’t right. You shouldn’t have to work hard to establish yourself just to have that tarnished by someone who probably doesn’t even know you. I wrote This is for those people who like me have been misjudged and had rumors spread about them throughout their life. Who you are as a person matters and you should not let what other people think change that. Maybe one day they’ll understand that the words they speak and the rumors they start affects everyone around them. Just Stay true to yourself!