After the last letter that Tevrous sent I read his letter and his lies and wrote him back naming every name of every person that I and many others know he assaulted. He can deny having done them to those people but pain doesn’t lie. This letter was his response to me. Attached with the letter he sent a card he made and drew as an apology to me.
Look I know I fucked up but it’s not 4 people me and (His step sister) never did a thing we just acted like we did. Who is this other person you are talking about because I don’t know anyone by that name? The girl I’m locked up for lied about how old she was and I never knew her real age and she knew I was 21 and had a baby by me. So, that’s why I’m locked up. She sent a letter to the judge saying she was sorry for lying on me but I’m still locked up because she was young but I didn’t hurt her. I never lied to you all I wanted was to make my past go away. I’m mot saying because it happened to me and I did it to people that it makes it right. No. I used to think fuck the world and I would make them feel my pain but one day I opened my eyes and said fight back. I was never trying to hurt no one. I beat him up because he was a white supremacist . Him and his white friends were going around saying ” fuck black people and fuck y’all nigger bitch”. So, yes I feel good for beating him up. So, I will keep it 100 with you the first time you wrote me I knew what it was about just wish I could go back in time to fix it. But at the end of the day i have to live with what I did so just let me show you I’m sorry for hurting you. Tell me how I can make it better for you so you can know I’m sorry for real. Just tell me if I can have you back in my life. Please know that I am truly sorry. My words and actions are to follow what is in my heart.
My response/ Reaction:
This letter like the others he asks about having me back in his life, which no matter how many times I see it i will never be okay with that. As I stated once before he’s writing to me as if I were his lover not his cousin or the person he sexually abused. I personally don’t believe he feels sorry for the things he did. This letter I haven’t responded to yet part of me just wants to be done with the letters now because they are getting me nowhere. I know of 5 females he assaulted all at a very young age and he can’t or won’t even admit to it. The first sentence sounds like b.s. You don’t “act like” you’re doing something like having sex especially not as a child. I witnessed actions taking place and on top of that I was told by another victim at the time of the abuse that it was happening to them too. I initially set out to only write 5 letters and after receiving 5 letters if I had not gotten the outcome I wanted then I would end the communication and cut all ties. If I do respond to this letter it would be short and straight to the point. I may just list every name over and over again as well as the relation to him and be done. Or I may just write how what he did to me affected my life and still affects my life 22 years later. I want to tell him these things but, I don’t want the way I feel to only be turned and twisted into a sick love game for him. At this point I haven’t decided how I will be responding, guess I’ll just give it some time for me to think it over.