Breaking The Silence

Charlemagne using spanish fly to rape someone

After listening to this podcast I was triggered. He literally bragged about raping a young lady. If you put something  in someone’s drink (Spanish Fly ) without their knowledge that is wrong. If you then proceed to have sex with them without their consent while they are passed out you indeed have raped someone. The fact that he is laughing as he tells this story is disgraceful. From listening to the podcast it seems his knowledge of what rape and consent were off, he has clearly been misinformed. He had to be told that he raped this young lady. As a public figure, a celebrity, and successful black man he should know better and be better informed.

This is America as a minority the odds are always against African-American people especially our black men. This can be a teachable moment for everyone both men and women. Our future generations need to know right from wrong and should start learning  early on. If you have young boys or girls raise them to understand right from wrong. Raise our young women to understand that unless they want to have sex and actually give consent to the person that they do not have to do anything they don’t want to do. Have them to understand being forced to do anything that they do not want to do is rape and is not okay. Raise young men to understand that if a female cannot say yes then the answer is NO! Raise our children to understand what rape actually is, raise them to understand how detrimental it can be to the other person for the rest of their lives.  Our future leaders need to be knowledegable so that they do not to make the same mistakes that we as a country are making right now.

The rape epidemic is on the rise and it should not be that way.  There are many things which could be to blame. One of those is both victims and predators not being knowledgable. The other is these rapist not being held accountable for their own actions. In not being held accountable it shows other predators that they can rape someone and get away with it. Rape is not and will never be okay and that is the way it should be perceived and handled by the world.

Charlemagne should be held accountable for his actions. I have been reading comments left by his fans and followers and it shows just how lost we are. It is believed  he is not a rapist because the woman has not come forward. To anyone with this train of thinking you are wrong. If you listen to the podcast Charlemagne tells the story for her, What he describes is indeed rape! This is not the first time Charlemagne has talked about raping someone but because he is so high in power he hasn’t been held accountable. Power should not be what stops a victim from getting justice. Everyone deserves justice! We as a people need to do better and have to do better so that we can have better outcomes in the future!#BreakTheSilence

world topics

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

“It’s not the person refusing to let go of the past but the past refusing to let go of the person”. PTSD is a mental illness that affects 7.8 million Americans . Most people believe PTSD only affects people who were or are in the military and they are wrong because I am one of those people. PTSD is a disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. My PTSD derives from my abusive childhood. Something that started over 17 years ago still affecting me today. I have been victim to PTSD and I have also been the culprit to pushing my pain onto others.

For me PTSD is not sleeping well at night because I am still afraid that someone will come through my door and abuse me. PTSD for me is having nightmares when ever I do sleep so I wake up multiple times throughout the night. It’s crying uncontrollably. It’s being paranoid of every man who I see. It’s being afraid of being alone. It’s only sleeping when there’s someone who I trust near me holding me. I tend to lash out emotionally when I feel I’m unsafe or scared. PTSD for me is a reminder that no matter how far I’ve come my past will always follow. PTSD comes in many forms and for me PTSD is fear.

Growing up in my teenage years my step father also had PTSD. He was a former marine and couldn’t cope with the thought that something was wrong with him. He was prescribed medication to take for his condition but to him he didn’t need them so he didn’t take them. As a result, he would randomly spaz out. It was usually the simplest things that would set him off. Anything that resulted in him feeling weak ended with my him breaking anything in his path. Whether it be Tv’s, furniture, anything in his path was destructed. As a result my younger brother and I would lock ourselves in our rooms until he was no longer screaming at the top of his lungs, threatening to kill us or trying to break down the bedroom door. Until we could hear no more chaos. After it was silent we would go out to see what damage had been done. All of his episodes usually resulted in his blood being splattered everywhere from breaking or throwing everything with his bare hands. Me and my mom would clean up what looked to be a massacre and she would try to get him to take his medication which never ended well. This was denial and rage what we most often associate with PTSD in our military personnel when they have “snapped”.

At the time of my step father’s out cries I was 15 years old while my younger brother was 11. This was something we had never witnessed before so it scared us. I feared for my life at all times of the day or night. You never knew when he might flip or what would set him off. Often times while under attack he would threaten to kill us, you hear something so much you start to believe it. My mother and younger brother and I stayed up all night one night just listening to him , taking turns watching the door, waiting and praying. Although we weren’t really young that still affected us. No child should have to ensure this.

PTSD is our minds reaction to us being unable to cope with a traumatic experience. PTSD is another topic that is rarely discussed but should be. There are people dealing with this constant fight within themselves everyday and need help. If my step father had allowed us to help him, if he had taken his medications all those times he switched on us wouldn’t have happened. My brother and I wouldn’t have had to see something that dramatic at a young age. We shouldn’t have had to fear for our lives in our own home.

If you suffer from PTSD or know anyone who does I beg you to get help or help them get the treatment that they need. They may go through a stage of denial but at the end of the day you’re doing what’s best for them and in severe cases what’s best for you as well. With treatment PTSD can reduce and even elimate the symptoms of PTSD. The thought process one has with PTSD can go away and in that sense PTSD can be improved or “cured”.

In severe cases you have to think of your loved ones. You don’t want them to fear you. You don’t want to be afraid of what you’ll say or do around them either. Take the first step in understanding your diagnosis and begin getting treatment. In getting treatment you allow yourself to be able to lead a better life. The nightmares can stop, The thoughts can stop, it can all go away. I don’t know about you but I want to be able to have a full nights sleep without waking up from a nightmare paranoid. I’m 22 years old and I deserve to live as normal as I possibly can. That’s why I went and got the help I’ve been needing. It’s never too late to better yourself So, what’s stopping you?

Breaking The Silence

Searching for Closure

In my 22 years of life, I could never figure out why I felt the way I did. Why in what should have been my happiest moments were the exact opposite. Day in and out I have fought with the inability to feel or share like I’d wish to. I have wondered why every new memory still came with a reminder of the past. I’ve merely tried to avoid new memories, thoughts and people to suppress the pain of just remembering. I have ran from confrontation, avoided any uncomfortable situation and tried to remain under the radar for as long as possible. But, I have realized that wasn’t the answer! That was never the answer. Running doesn’t solve your problems, and definitely doesn’t make them go away. So, I decided to face my problems head on; Get answers, Get Closure,and Gain peace of mind. ‘You are strong enough to face it all, Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now”

From what I am able to recall at the age of 5 I began being molested by a cousin; Tevrous Bomer. This continued up until the age of 8 when my family and I relocated to Arizona in 2004. During the time of this abuse I never tried to tell anyone, because as a child you believe you will be faced with consequences because to you its your fault. There is one occurrence that sticks with me the most because, looking back I know I was very strong. Being so young I know there was nothing I could have done,and that he definitely wasn’t going to stop on his own.Through it all I know I was strong.

82 Dairy street was our home at the time. On this day Tevrous was left to watch My siblings, my cousins, and I. I’m unsure where our parents were but, I know Tevrous was the one left in charge since he was the eldest. The day started off ordinary without any issues,us kids watched television and played outside. It was like any normal day, until it wasn’t. It was when I was running around with my cousins that I was grabbed and placed in a room for him to return to when everyone else had returned out doors. During this moment I remember just crying, balling my eyes out until I had an idea (Not Today). I ran to my bedroom and I locked the door. I then turned my radio all the way up.I could hear him banging on the door to get in, and yelling for me to open it. I sat there with my chair facing the door, I held onto one of my teddy bears and cried praying today would not be the day.For so long it seemed as if I had won, he wouldn’t get what he wanted. I began to hear the others voices, as I turned down the music. He began to try and use my siblings so that he could get what he wanted having them to ask me to open the door. As the tears strolled down my eyes I shook my head yelled NO and I turned my music back up. For a while I held my own, I was alone in a home full of people. No one knew my reason for locking myself in my room except him, and he wasn’t letting that stop him. He used a knife to unlock my door, turned down my music and he just stared at me. He stared at me with a different look on his face, a confused look and then walked away.That Day I won. That night he didn’t touch me. I am unsure if it is because he feared that I would tell or if he felt remorse. Either way that day I won because, I was strong.

At the age of 22 I have so many obstacles in my way all relating back to my molestation. Growing up I figured if I tried to forget it would all just go away. I know now that suppressing all these memories has done nothing but hinder my progress. November 2017 I reached out to my abuser whom is now in prison. I searched for him for weeks, gathering All the information that I could. I then sent him a letter hoping to gain some closure, and some answers. It took me 17 years to speak openly on my abuse, and to face my abuser. Just reaching out and writing that letter helped me feel better, as if a weight was lifted off of me. For so long I didn’t speak on things, Now that all that I want to do. I hope that me sharing My life, My stories, and My obstacles will help others speak freely on theirs.I want to Break the Silence!